Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Burning Holes in My Pockets

I spent Sunday night with my Mom and decided that since I was so close to Augusta, I'd go to Michael's and Target on Monday to pick up a few things that seem to be non-existent in Statesboro. First, let me say that I had good intentions. I was going to pick up embroidery floss (which is something that one cannot find in the dear old 'Boro), and check out Target for a summery-type dress to wear to Chris' upcoming family reunion.

It started off well enough, getting LOADS of embroidery floss for $0.35 a skein... and in all the colors of the crafty rainbow at that.

The problem was that I kept finding other stuff I needed... such as the floss cards. And this neat little contraption that winds the floss onto said card. I needed these things. Absolutely. Had. To. Have.

Then came Target (Tar-jay). I found the most precious dress. Again, Had. To. Have.

(Excuse my closet, 'tis a mess.)

Then I decided that I needed new sunglasses. And nail polish to match my dress (really, Katie?). Then I was sucked into the money vortex that is the cosmetics aisle. Ugh.

This has to be in the top 10 most useless purchases I've ever made. Probably somewhere around Number 6. I was convinced, convinced that I needed this. $9.99 for lip gloss that makes your lips tingle. Stupid, stupid, stupid. There are people out there that design packaging like this. People that figure out what kind of moron it takes to buy this stuff (apparently the Katie-shaped kind). They know we'll buy it. Read the packaging.

"Lip size found crucial for sexual attraction!"
"At last, you can trade your skinny lips for a sexy motherpucker!"
And the part you can't see in the picture, "SCIENTISTS CONFIRM: size matters! Fuller lips attract men more."

Why did I buy this? Was I thinking of Chris at the time and how much better he'd like me if only I had fuller lips? No... I was thinking that he actually wouldn't like it (Sorry!)... it's the gloopy kind that makes your hair stick to your lips. Why then? Why!? Perhaps we'll never know.

What the packaging should have said: "SCIENTISTS CONFIRM: people will buy anything."

So, after I leave Target, furious with myself, I decided that I needed shoes to go with my dress... and Old Navy just happened to be next door....

I suck at money.

No comments: